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Sunday, December 03, 2006

my life had been in a mass recently... i dun know y!? i myself also cannot figure wat i m really thinking... and i myself had now start to judge myself on capability, truth and my feelings...

this few days is not ask busy cos just finish 2 projects... however 2 more is half way through n i think about 3 more coming? ha... my life is full of nothing... but stress...

firstly, the childcare we choose had rejected us on changing the field trip from labrador park to changi beach... N well done! the committee of the volenteer group reject us too! haiz... at a point our IEP is in a crisis of going into all the arguments n all... however it was all over as wat mel says is rite... since i m the leader, the more i should support everyone... thanks to her.... n me? haha our group r working fine now... n i m so sorry but i really need to be alone at that point in time... cos i feel that everything is just so unfair... rite from the beginning...

not onli projects i think but everything!!!!!!!!!!!!

isit bcos i m fat so i dun have a choice to choose? isit cos i m soft spoken i m always at the losing end? is it that i m nt as interactive as others... i will not have someone to be by my side when i need it... is it that cos i had nothing.. therefore i need to act even stronger than anyone?

n that is y i hate going to crowded places, hate to join any parties... cos i hate the way the other look at mi!

today i went down to the family chalet... it was my first time going to this gathering after avoiding for one year... however similarly... same feeling of loneliness came back... n the feeling of love n care is ZERO... dislike ppl to say things to mi when they dun know anything.. yes!

so sad... maybe i m fated to be alone? maybe wat aunty judy says is rite... i had a bad life.... n i can nv had a man in my life... cos i dun know how to communicate... haiz how sad..
HE had not been toking to mi for 4 days le... so wat... he left with the wind?

anyways... tml is the field trip... ya.. was excited yet sad!


+ CuTiePiggIE @ 7:05 AM

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