after one week of struggle.. i feels my confident level drops n my stress increase n ya.. feeling tire from inside le..

was rushing my lesson plans n subject web.. realise that i really dun know a lot of things.. hiaz.. worst thing is i gt to face the fact that my children are slower as they still cannot recognise colour, cannot count, best is some still refuses to tok!!!! oh my god i dunno what can i do lei.. really lor.. lesson must be simple n interesting.. wah really test my limits wow..

but still.. although they r like that.. on n all they r cute.. n funny too.. hehe.. now.. its time for mi to be serious n get going le.. haha.. wah piang.. today ar.. the S la.. sian she came over to my class n ask mi when i wanna the supervision to be.. i told her the field supervisor say she wanted us to hav at least ten session with the children.... so i say i wanted 20 july that week.. she tell mi she wanted get over n done with.. so she wanted to be as early as possible.. wah sia.. i was like.. u wanted ur way.. she nv thing wat age i taking n wat age she taking.. worst thing is she took the K1 which aready had a dramatic corner for her.. but for mi i gt to do from stratch.. wah really piss mi off lei..

the other thing this make mi feel disgusted was she told mi our mentor kept calling her mandy.. cos she gt that mandy look!! wat the... haha.. sian lei.. i dun wan her to be like mi! i m unique.. ahaha

coming down to work.. i was working today once again.. after 4 days of non working life.. i feel abit tire n lazy le.. but still i went down to work cos i cant find replacement.. at first i was like.. wanting to help jace to rearrange the tables of ppl so that we can take in more.. n so.. but haiya after some thoughts i think nvm la.. cos i m just a staff today.. (knowing my thinking is wrong) still.. i dunno wat i can say.. seeing the way he work i also sian.. we din manage to get 2 groups of walk in cos HE la.. his lousy planning making table being empty since about 8!!! its a boring nite...

haha finding it so funny wow.. went i gt problem i will go n ask mingsi.. then mingsi ask mi ask him.. wai yin they all gt problem come n ask mi.. i ask them go ask him also.. hehe.. then aunty also say.. he will nt ask last order untill 11pm.. then she will want to claim taxi.. wah sia.. 600+ of earnings still like that.. i really gt nothing to say.. then cos was too boring then i wanted to wash plates.. then he say wah y suddenly everyone wanna wash plates.. haha ya funny hor.. (dun wanna see his face ma) doing so much for him.. level 2 was done by 11.. n yet he still can leaves at 1245am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is really gd lei.. if i know should hav leave all the stuff for him.. then he also leaves about the same time.. no meh.. ha!

days pass so fast.. my one week is going to end again.. how will my next week be? i dunno.. but the onli thing i know is i will be dame busy la.. go go go

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 8:53 AM

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it was a busy afternoon.. with almost full house. haha is full house actually hehe.. but still we r still able to manage.. but recently.. my mood n bad n i feel so tire n sick of everything cos like no body care for mi.. haiz.. but i do enjoy working with yee wei n hui ying..haha.. hoping that they can somehow replace xinai n all.. still.. hehe.. i hope i will get better.. yeah.. ok gtg..

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 8:48 AM

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today.. i went to work.. still dun hav much time to rest.. i feel so tire n i m still sick!!!

in the afternoon still ok.. but till the nite time.. wah sian.. i m short of one staff again.. then all the customers come all together.. none of us really had to time to eat.. then cos today again.. so busy n most of them took set dinner is a gd thing but things was nt rite after a while...

aunty was angry cos no staff went into the kitchen!!!! but aunty nv thing for mi.. i myself also gt short man power where got staff go into kitchen.. further more.. i m aready sick n i m NOT superwoman.. y must i be treat this way.. they all dun wanna work bcos of the world cup.. NOTHING is done!!! but mi.. putting in so much effort but nothing was being repaid.. feeling so unfair.. i know it is my fault not to hav told her about so many ppl on sat cos i tot all sat r like that!!!! BUT who knows today so many set meals again n once again all is like 10 by 10 sets.. aunty blame be n scolded mi.. n guess wat.. i aready very mood down le.. therefore i talk back to her.. "u think i wanted this ar.. no body work.. we work so hard.. u think wanna think to happen.. u think i can control wat they wan meh... no body wanna work wat can i do!!!!!!!!!!!" n then i think aunty was shock so she started to calm down n tell mi wat happen.. then i gt a bit guilty n sad so i say sorry to her.. but still.. i hate this!! UNFAIR treatment..

also.. i m always wondering.. y m i doing so much for this cafe.. working so hard.. when other ppl can do differently.. that MAN.. his fri shift is onli like 600 plus n he stay till 12:45am.. today our earnings are 1200plus n we finish all work by 12am.. wat man.. i could simply leave all the things to the last n finish work at 1 am or 130am no meh.. tot how great he is.. WROST thing is he took my umbella.. SIAN .. i dun wan le. can give him la.. see le also turn off..

suddenly think back.. will i be unable to work bcos of my throat.. i m sick of puting so much affort n nt getting wat i wanted.. i dun wish to learn from the others... BUT.....

wow thanks so much XXX for buying the bag for mi.. really like it n appreciated it.. hehe.. thanks.. gosh.. so much things undone..

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 11:33 AM

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updates..

oh no.. i think i had make the wrong choice my accepting the younger age group kids.. they are cute their stuff is simple BUT they are going to ruin my FP oh no man.. dunno wat to do now lei..

my first there was fun.. cos they all seem so CUTE.. i change them haha i m so clumsy i think.. nt as gd as mi working in settlers wow haha.. no more swift movements haha.. then wah.. first day onli i gt to take a few children myself cos they gt not enough teachers.. haha.. then things start to change.. they all become monster n haunt mi haha..

today.. my second day at the childcare.. wah dame tire.. was suppose to report at 7am.. in the end i woke up late.. therefore went at 11am instead haha.. then today the kids there kept crying then like can nv understand wat we r saying or their attention span is like 5 to 10 minutes!! oh oh oh..... they always speak chinese lei.. die le la.. i speak eng to them they like cannot really understand wow.. die if my field sup come.. dunno can use both language or nt lei.. haha..

wah really sian.. hey ppl guess wat.. forget i gt tell ur nt.. tat day when i went to see doctor.. the doctor say my throat there gt lum..2 huge lum which cos my throat to become narrow.. n if it grows bigger will affect my breadthing eating n i will hav to go for operations or DIE.. but still dunno yet cos it might be there long long wat back le.. but still i dunno.. cos the doctor i see last time also nv tell mi lei.. sian.. so ppl.. gt money faster take n give mi spend okok.. haha..

starting sch soon le.. hehe.. i hav watched just my luck.. erm nt bad.. haha..
ok tire le wanna zzz.. nitey ppl

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 9:49 AM

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hello.. i m back.. wah finally.. i could spend my day at home again.. hehe.. just took the medicine feel so drowsy.. haha but still i gt to crack my brain to think for the lesson.. oh no.. dunno wat to do sian..

we finally come to an real end le.. hehe n i m starting my life with those little monsters soon haha.. should be quite fun ba haha.. okok will update u all about all the funny things that happen to mi in the monster childcare centre okok.. hehe yeah!!! ready GO..............................

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 12:20 AM

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after a night of break down.. i fall sick le.. having bad sore throat n cough.. nothing much happen in my life cos i m always such a boring person all along..
BUT last nite.. i went to eat the dip chocolate one lei.. hmm so nice..ooo of cos bcos gt ppl treat therefore it taste even nicer.. hehe..
really wanna thanks a few ppl who r with mi for this few unhappy days i had.. mingsi la wanting la hui ge la n doreen.. for accompanying mi this few days..
guess wat i realise.. wanting is always at the place looking after mi.. haha so nice.. i realise mi n her although we seldom tok now.. seldom meet up.. but in our heart.. there is always a place of her.. hehe (dunno she gt nt la) but i hav O_o.. heehee

i had make up my mind to put a fullstop to the story of mi n alex le.. although i will feel lonely n sad.. also i might nt find anyone who is someway like him (i mean the gd points) but still.. i dun wish to see both of us being unhappy again le.. so ya.. !!!

so fast field practium starting soon le.. i haven do anything much for my lesson plan.. oh no.. hey ppl gt any idea to share? hehe..

muack love u all

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 7:57 AM

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today i went to play badminton hoping i get better.. but sian.. that person who say wanna play badminton did nt turn up in the end.. till we finish playing le then she sms mi to say she just woke up.. but still i gt fun sweating n running..

but still my heart feels heavy n sad.. i know no point getting over with it.. but still.. i think i need more time ba.. just cant get over with some of the thing in my mind..

feels tire le.. dun feel like toking n doing anything le..i break down n cry le...

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 6:24 AM

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oh gosh.. i m feeling real sad now.. although its predicted but still like cannot really accept.. i fail my OB test.. need to go for remedial n retest.. i feel so lousy.. i cried..

was feeling real gd this morning cos going settlers to play .. but then its just like a lighting struck n all the happiness is gone.. i receive the news about mi nt able to make it for the OB test.. oh my mood falls... then she was unable to make it then i really break down n cry le.. haiz..but also gd la.. even if she is here.. i might nt hav the mood to play le.. really feels so lousy n sad.. y y n i the one???..

suddenly i feel dame stress now.. nt been able to do well in this.. then my field practicum also like going to finish le.. i really dunno wat to do.. really need to be alone ba.. really gt to let myself think over le..

hoping to see him wanna him to be there for mi.. but yet he cant.. worst is he expects mi to go find him instead.. wah.. wat the**** .......... i really hope that i nv had know him at all.. cos he is driving mi crazy..

y is my day like tat? isnt it supposed to be a happy one? how come?
my heart feels so heavy.. who can be there to help mi? even i also dunno i can help myself nt..
:( :( :(

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 10:29 AM

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finally i gt some time to rest.. wah had been working through out the weekends hah.. i guess i had overly tire myself till i dun feel tire anymore.. cos i slept at 3 then i wake up at 9am wow.. wah.. so really surprise that i had onli wanted to sleep for 6 hours wow haha.. hehe..

wah there is still no theme for my centre so in the end the mentor ask mi to come out with my own theme but to follow their lesson wow.. i tot i m suppose to come out with my own lesson?? haha be confuse by her again..

really glad that the gaming session was quite a success yesterday.. cos all the staff that turn out at least learnt 3 games.. wei ming the new staff learn 8 games last nite.. hehe but hoping that they nv forget for to play the games when he really comes to work..

guess wat.. yesterday when it was pouring heavily, i was alone in the bus feeling so cold.. then i started to think.. although i can be strong at the outside, i will still hav times which i need ppl to take care to pamper to love n dote to be by my side.. but still if there is this someone who is beside be n yet dun care at all.. then i rather i dun hav.. at least there is still hope for the better ones.. hehe..

i m afraid of feeling hurt again.. i m no trying anymore.. i will concentrate on work n sch jia you jia you jia you mandy go go go!!!

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 8:12 PM

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haiz... haiz... haiz...
really dunno how to express my worries n sadness at the same time man.. wah so afraid of failing my FP this time round.. guess wat the centre i m posted to is dame lousy la.. haiz.. ppl there all so weird!! oh no.. wat should i do..

i went there today.. n i feel very uneasy le.. my mentor even worst.. she dun ans my questions one lei.. gt to ask many times.. then she dun smile.. she like dunno wat she herself is toking about.. make mi feel so worry lei..

then the sch so lao pei..haiz.. now they facing shortage of children, no field trip.. n then the ppl there all like nt very friendly lei.. esp my class form teacher.. she like onli know how to sing to the children lei haha.. die le.. i m taking the playgroup which is 3 yrs? n i rite? haha i dun even know cos my mentor blur i also blur blur le.. oh no.. tian ar.. sui lai pang wo ar!!

then today is a bad day man.. i went to work in the afternoon cos no one can take over mi.. n guess wat.. i m working with 2 new staff.. wah i thanks god for nt being too busy today..(sorry i know like that is no gd to the company) but still.. is just as gd as i doing all the things myself lor.. haiz.. one is enough le but both also like that.. both like so blur.. like nv know what to do like that.. sian.. really testing my patient lei.. haha..

shit i gt no mood to study. haven start yet lei.. oh so boring lei.. so hope that things wont so bad lei.. thinking of u again.. muack

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 7:24 AM

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hey feel so excited going childcare tml.. erm dunno how would it be like.. going to working with those small little monsters again.. hehe.. i hope everything goes well tml..

i gt no mood to study at all lei.. my mind is dame busy la.. but i just dunno wat i m thinking about.. feel so sorry n scare.. keep thinking that whatever i do is going to fail n its also wrong.. y cant just give mi a little bit of warmth n love.. to make mi understand all the misunderstandings..

saw wanting at the bus stop today.. guess she nv see mi ba cos i see her very gan chiong about the questions.. suddenly i feel that we had nt had a long chat for very long le.. i m afraid that she might not wanna say much thing to mi anymore.. but still i do treasure her.. so treat her as my best fren lei.. really gt to hav time for her hehe.. maybe wed after badminton ba.. smelly smelly go her house seat on the chair n roll on the floor haha.. really nv do this for very long le.. a bit miss the days we had last time.. hehe (btw i had decide even if she is nt telling mi anything i squeeze all her secrets out haha.. hopefully i can..)

today is another day.. jia you

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 7:36 AM

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hey everyone.. very long nv do my posting le.. sorry cos busy n also nothing much happens in my life.. its all working n schooling..

oh but still i feels tire wow.. cos i was watching this vcd call only u oh my gd its so nice la.. i had finish le yeah.. hehe.. anyway..
although we seldom contact le.. but still.. my mind is always thinking how r u.. wat r u doing.. n all.. hoping u r fine... muack..

tire le gtg.. muack see ya soon

+ CuTiePiggIE @ 9:43 AM

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